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Voices — Stories From Women Like You

Real words from women finding light in the darkest places.

Prison is where you learn how to clear your worries and thoughts. How to clear your mind. You can look at being in prison as if you are doing self-care for your mind, body, and soul. Being true to yourself, cleansing your heart, mind, and soul. You can live free inside of prison. It's possible.

Prison is the place where you cannot escape, even yourself. Lots of time for reflection. And as long as one takes the time to do such, like with this soulmaking class, and meditation, then you can face yourself. And it is through that process of really "facing" myself that I can see so much more light in the end. I can accept being here.

"I actually find solace in the unpredictability of things because it also means that anything good and unexpected can happen at any time."

"I'm a mother, a daughter, a sister, and I want to be the best version of myself. I know that in order to recover I must uncover, discover. I want a better life of freedom and love. I want to be able to get past the roadblocks that are in my heart."

"There are a few different ways I express my heart. I relate well with others, usually through life experiences and humor. I make people laugh all the time; it's something I enjoy doing. Laughter is healing for anything someone might be feeling — loneliness, sadness, boredom, anxiety."

"People don't understand who we are and what we are doing here. They think we are just in here, not wanting to do anything, not wanting to change. That couldn't be further from the truth."

I arrived here with the desire to remain safe, away from negative influences, and some comfort in a temporary "home away from home." As I obtained my bearings and better understood how to be in this time and place, I desired trivial possessions that seemed tied to a feeling of worth and control. I saw these items for what they were, yet I still craved them. As this desire slowed I shifted to a desire to better myself and achieve greater understanding of why my crime occurred and what skills or tools I need to develop and implement in order to prevent old habits from reappearing and leading me to further loss of self, autonomy, and total freedom.

"I spent the last thirty-five years as a dedicated people pleaser. I sought the approval of others to make myself feel good. I had no idea who I was, my self-esteem was low, and I required validation. After I suffered a breakdown that resulted in a nearly successful suicide attempt, I finally dealt with my negative self-talk and self-esteem. I learned that by seeking the approval of others and people-pleasing, I was essentially neglecting myself. Now I live my life according to my own mental moral barometer. If I know I have done my best, that is all I can do."

"The lessons in the Art of Soulmaking gave me an epiphany that kept me sane and out of my "suffering" mindset. I was my worst critic, I was harder on myself than anyone else could be. Those are heavy burdens to carry. As a result of this course, I remembered I had choice. So I chose something new and uncomfortable and that has lifted this burden. I love myself, I'm an image of God."

I have been incarcerated for thirty-two years now. I believed it was for punishment for many years. I also believed it was a chance for me to become the best person that I could be. Today I know that I am a good person, and my thoughts and actions are nothing like the eighteen-year-old person who walked in here many years ago. However, I have struggled within myself to truly find peace and forgiveness. I really want to allow myself the freedom to explore the principles of this group.

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Sixty percent of Trust proceeds go directly to women who were incarcerated alongside the author. Forty percent supports the Prison Monastery program of Unconditional Freedom.

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